—An earthquake.
—UEFA has the foresight to hire a panel of Chinese and Romanian judges to decide the diving competition between Didier Drogba and Cristiano Ronaldo.
—Petr Cech takes the field in a full suit of Medieval armor.
—Roman Abramovich starts a money-throwing fight with the entire Glazer family and buries them alive in Euros.
—The inevitable Wayne Rooney red card.
Beyond that, I can think of nothing else. Signed—
—Bitter as a rural Pennsylvanian:
XIDEVILS.
Zach Dundas 
But you’ll still be watching, right?
The Editorial We remain undecided. I foresee a grim battle not unlike Stalingrad, and not just insofar as it will be in Russia. Two exhausted sides, one of which will be absolutely desperate to secure a title, any title, the other of which will be desperate not to lose face against the club in just vanquished in the league: doesn’t exactly portent a freewheeling festival of the art of football, does it.
doesn’t exactly portent a freewheeling festival of the art of football, does it.Isn’t that what everyone said about the Chelsea v Liverpool semifinal? I didn’t see it, but from all accounts it was a pretty thrilling encounter (esp the 2nd leg in London, Super Fat Frankie’s heroics etc).
Obviously, the prospect of this final has completely undermined my typing ability.And, no—of course, there’s no reason this couldn’t be a classic, and in the end I will probably be compelled to watch. It’s like Ali v. Frazier or something.