Monthly Archives: November 2009

Real Salt Lake's MLS Title: Al Swearingen Weighs In

Evidently, there are two ways to look at Real Salt Lake’s penalty-kicks upset of the Los Angeles Galaxy in last night’s MLS Cup Final. Either SLC’s victory, after a season in which it won matches about once a month and … Continue reading

Posted in Football, Soccer, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Soccer's Sepulchral Superpower: Yugoslavia Dominates From Beyond the Grave!

If newly minted international pariah Thierry Henry hadn’t palmed plucky Ireland out of the tournament, the story of yesterday’s World Cup qualification finale would certainly have been Slovenia’s shock elimination of Guus Hiddink’s Russia. This match had it all: swaggering … Continue reading

Posted in Football, Soccer, Sports, World Cup 2010 | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Real Lambert

When I first saw the now-infamous footage of New Mexico defender Elizabeth Lambert on a rampage against BYU, I was standing in a very soccer-friendly sports bar in the company of my futsal teammates, after one of our Thursday matches. … Continue reading

Posted in Football, Soccer, Sports | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The Greatest Ball Boy in the World

One of my sterling memories from attending a River Plate match at Buenos Aires’ aptly named El Monumental: the crusty old lifer fans in my section, so hardboiled that they heckled the ball boys if they screwed up. (“Moronico!”) Well, … Continue reading

Posted in Football, Soccer, Sports | Tagged | Leave a comment

MLS Gets Major League

Major League Soccer’s championship playoffs come down to the next-to-last round this weekend, and I find myself experiencing an unfamiliar sensation. Could it be…excitement? I still maintain that the MLS playoffs are, fundamentally, a bit of a wash. Knock-out tournaments … Continue reading

Posted in Football, Soccer, Sports | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Instantly Notorious Women's Soccer Player Suspended

The New Mexico player involved in last night’s exploitative (but, let’s face it, compulsively watchable) SportsCenter uproar, Elizabeth Lambert, has been suspended indefinitely. (I would supply a link to the appropriate news story, except that The Albuquerque Journal has the most … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Girl-on-Girl Violence Makes Women's Soccer a SportsCenter Sensation

No, it is definitely not fair that this orgy of senseless violence perpetrated by a single New Mexico player probably constitutes the single longest SportsCenter segment on NCAA women’s soccer. Thousands of women devote millions of hours to their collegiate … Continue reading

Posted in Football | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment