Monthly Archives: July 2006

The Surreal Life

In what surely must be some sort of performance-art project rather than a genuine match result, it seems Real Salt Lake, the worst team in MLS, defeated DC United, the best by far, on two stoppage-time penalty kicks. (The second … Continue reading

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The Losing Streak is In Its Last Throes, If You Will.

The Portland Timbers, to adopt au courant Pentagon/White House lingo, “turned the corner” last night, posting a majestic 0-0 draw against the Toronto Lynx. Portland’s resolve was not sapped! The defense stood up to the fearsome Toronto attack, which has … Continue reading

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Timbers Approach Terminal State

This is sad. Sad, sad, sad. A proud, beloved club, the Mighty Mighty Timbers, goes down in flames to something called the Virginia Beach Mariners. The 3-1 loss, rich with indignity (the Verdebianci stuck ancient assistant coach Gavin Wilkinson into … Continue reading

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Viva Punk Football!

For some time, I’ve meant to beam the massive XIDevils media spotlight (we got it on loan from Juggs Magazine) at one of the coolest and most encouraging phenomena in the global game: the rise of feisty, non-profit, no-surrender, supporter-controlled, … Continue reading

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Jimmy Conrad: Literary Genius?

Among the many crucial questions pondered by American football fans—Is Adu really 17?…What is/was a “Dallas Burn,” anyway?…Anything like a “Cleveland Steamer”?…McBride: man or cyborg at this point?—here’s one that doesn’t receive nearly enough cranial bandwidth: Is Jimmy Conrad secretly … Continue reading

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Forza Roma!

This is an amazingly cool story: an unheralded band of Dallas amateurs is on safari against the big boys in the US Open Cup. Dallas Roma knifed Chivas USA on penalties, and is now set for a showdown with the … Continue reading

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Allez les Zulus!

A strange, funny note from the history file: the first professional football side ever was a masquerade outfit. The Zulus, a selection of Sheffield-based barnstormers who donated match proceeds to the bumper crop of widows generated by one of Britain’s … Continue reading

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