There are not many in the world of Major League Soccer. Superlatives, that is. In fact, the league is essentially designed to produce uniform mediocrity. However, one very special, noteworthy phenomenon has emerged so far this season: at this moment, the New York Red Bulls are the worst team in American sports.
Consider that the Red Bulls have played 20 league matches. They have won two of those matches. They have lost 14. If you calculate each of their four draws as one-third of a victory (as they are, in effect, under soccer’s 3/1/0 points system), the Red Bulls have an approximate winning percentage of .165. The other active contender for the title, the Washington Nationals—by far the worst team in Major League Baseball—currently own a .290 winning percentage.
As they contemplate their utter futility—the existential void that opens when you can be assured of defeat eight out of every ten times you step on to the field—the Bulls can take comfort. The National Football League preseason begins soon. And that means the Detroit Lions will be back in action.