Seven Into Two

It seems that Major League Soccer—perhaps taking a cue from the McCain campaign and its strange obsession with beauty queens—will pit seven markets against each other for its next two expansion slots. Will there be a talent portion to the competition? From a strictly parochial perspective, the news comes in twos:

1) Portland, in the form of the Portland Timbers, Merritt Paulson and his father, the powerful Commissar of the People’s Industries and the New Central Economic Policy, is on the list, and;

2) Portland would seem not to have a chance in Hades, at least this time around. We’ve got Steve Nash pressing us from one side, FC Barcelona from the other, with St. Louis’ long-delayed bid hammering us right down the middle. Meanwhile, any effort to secure public financing to upgrade PGE Park to MLS standards will face a tough battle, especially if Merritt’s dad doesn’t succeed in staving off the Second Great Depression. I would say that Barca’s heft and MLS’ yen for Canada (not to mention the fact that the Canadian economy is not nearly so fucked as ours) will deliver a Vancouver/Miami couplet. Saint Louis and Portland will be told, on the sly, that they’re next.


About zachdundas

Freelance journalist. Author of The Renegade Sportsman (Riverhead Books). Thank you.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Seven Into Two

  1. Lucas says:

    Miamicelona will fail harder than any fail has ever failed before. J O K E. 2 steps back (again) for MLS if they go there (again).

  2. Zach Dundas says:

    I think Barca could probably run a decent satellite team, but Miami—known for its total sports apathy—is a terrible market to put that kind of team. New York, I think, could work, and would make a more natural fit. Miami just seems sort of random…like Bayern Munich running a team in San Diego.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s