Dynamo Chelski v. Manchester Bay Buccaneers: PREDICTION

So we come to the end—the Eurodelic SuperSeason concludes with the Financial League Championship Final (And Illegal Heavy Arms Bazaar) in Moscow tomorrow. This exciting occasion actually marks Eleven Devils’ second anniversary (not like we’re solipsistic or anything), and provides yet another opportunity to figure out (temporarily, until the next time they play each other…in about two months) who REALLY rules the jungle: Manchester United or Chelsea. As Roman Abramovich and various members of the Glazer clan receive “special massages” in the luxury suites, their hirelings will do a one-match reprise of their 38-match race for the Premier League crown for the edification of many, many intoxicated Englishmen and the rest of the world.

So what will happen? And who will care? Here at Eleven Devils, the Editorial We finally had a good long sit down and decided to support…Chelsea. A painful decision in many ways, but ultimately an easy one because, y’know, fuck Manchester United. That’s about the best we can do. At least a few Chelsea fans have suffered in living memory, and blue is a lovely colo(u)r, and they’ve got John Terry and Petr Cech’s clever hat. So lezzzzzzz gooooooh you Blues!

Outcome prediction: Chelsea 1 : 0 Manchester United. Didier Drogba goal on some unspeakably ugly and forgettable piece of business in about the 75th minute, either followed or preceded by the inevitable Wayne Rooney red card. Fun! We’ll see yas.

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About zachdundas

Freelance journalist. Author of The Renegade Sportsman (Riverhead Books). Thank you.
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