Just last night, I was thinking: how could Liverpool’s season get any worse? Oh, yes—there’s the scheduled elimination from the Champions League at the hands of Inter. I’ve already written that one into the profit/loss statement, as I’m sure many others have as well. The Reds currently sit seventh in the Premiership, with Blackburn, Pompey and West Ham—three sides that specialize in grinding out exactly the results they need—in tight attack formation just behind. Then come Spurs, showing many signs of revitalization. Could Liverpool finish…11th? 12th? It’s quite possible that the bottom of the trough isn’t in view yet, while the backside of Rafa Benitez could well be.

But enough of that. How could the season get better? A run of victories would be nice, but let’s be serious. Let’s look, instead, at this: a financial uprising by the Kop! It seems some Liverpool fans aren’t just content to own the scarf and the life-sized S. Gerrard wallhanging. They want 100,000 people (!) to kick in 5,000 quid apiece (!!! : $10,000 : !!!) to buy out the dipshit American owners, meanwhile warding off any and all Saudi sheiks and shadowy Kazakh biznessmeni who might come prowling around. The model, of course, is FC Barcelona, every aspiring pinko’s second favorite club.

It’s an inspiring vision. Does it have a hope in hell?


About zachdundas

Freelance journalist. Author of The Renegade Sportsman (Riverhead Books). Thank you.
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