The REAL Champions League

The so-called Mainstream Media seems determined to ignore this major story…but that’s what us radical, cutting-edge bloggers are for! Tonight, Portland Futsal’s action-packed Third Division comes down to an insane four-team, one-night knock-out jamboree! Early-evening semifinals will produce two championship contenders, who then do battle on the plastic pitch at 9 pm. My Albina Going FC Unicorns, the second seed outta Conference Argentina, take on Conference Brazil pennant-winners Deep Cheese (???) at 7:25. Could we possibly survive to the Final? Could we possibly survive playing two matches in one night? SEE YOU THERE, SAAAAAAAAAH-KER FANS!

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About zachdundas

Freelance journalist. Author of The Renegade Sportsman (Riverhead Books). Thank you.
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