Big, big weekend in the Big, Big Premierhood of Barclaycardistan. Liverpool, the Official Premierhood of Barclaycardistan Club of Eleven Devils, tonked those fractious Chelski blueboys with a couple quick goals. Arsenal provided the late dramatics of the season so far, as Henry zipped in his instantly famous winner at the “death,” as they say. The Big Two, Dynamo Chelsea and Manchester Bay Buccanneers, suddenly look wobbly atop the world.
And yet you couldn’t get more laughs for your hard-earned British Dinar (or…what’s it called?) than Reading FC’s zany 3-1 win over the mobile atrocity that is Sheffield United.
I have admitted that I am having an affair with Reading on the side, and this match give me every excuse. You have the first goalscorer brutally tackling his own team’s fuzzy mascot in celebration. You have Steve “Headcracker” Hunt provoking two red cards and a goofy melee involving the coaching staffs AND THEN scoring a goal on a farcical imitation bicycle kick AND THEN celebrating by slide tackling the corner flag and nearly killing the linesman. You have at least 11 Sheffield United players who will think back on this game with mixed emotions when, in 20 years, they’re drunkenly insisting to the crowd at their local that they did so play in the Premiership for a season.
It’s all so jolly, I figured I had better steal some key footage off YouTube. Hands off MY content, though, you pirate scum. Everything here is copyrighted and I have some large, obscurely Slavic friends: