Kids, Acid is Not Your Friend!

Confession: I took a massive dose of a nameless hallucinogen this morning. (I’m not sure what it was; I copped it off my buddy Trev; it had Spongebob Squarepants printed on it…) So my perception of today’s match is all skewed. I thought I saw Mastroeni sent off for a touch-tackle, McBride’s head split open, Pope sent off for a touch-tackle, an Italian own-goal, a Beasley goal disallowed, Donovan playing with resolve, Bocanegra and Cherundolo playing well, the USA gritting out an improbable result and a pair of highlight reel saves from Keller to give us an outside chance of survival.

What really happened?

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About zachdundas

Freelance journalist. Author of The Renegade Sportsman (Riverhead Books). Thank you.
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2 Responses to Kids, Acid is Not Your Friend!

  1. Dan says:

    That’s really weird. I didn’t have any drugs today (pot is not a drug, right?) yet I not only had similar hallucinations, but this morning I dreamed that the formerly formidable Czech side was soundly beaten by a bunch of African upstarts. Clearly, the pundits were right: The US is playing in the proverbial Group of Death. Bruce’s Boys had better not count their chickens yet, Ghana is on a roll!

  2. Lynda says:

    I thought perhaps what I saw in both matches was a local phenomenon–something in the city water supply?–but the Guardian referred to US v Italy as “one of the most surreal matches in World Cup history.” Perhaps we’ve all fallen through a wormhole and into a parallel universe!

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