Kids, Acid is Not Your Friend!

Confession: I took a massive dose of a nameless hallucinogen this morning. (I’m not sure what it was; I copped it off my buddy Trev; it had Spongebob Squarepants printed on it…) So my perception of today’s match is all skewed. I thought I saw Mastroeni sent off for a touch-tackle, McBride’s head split open, Pope sent off for a touch-tackle, an Italian own-goal, a Beasley goal disallowed, Donovan playing with resolve, Bocanegra and Cherundolo playing well, the USA gritting out an improbable result and a pair of highlight reel saves from Keller to give us an outside chance of survival.

What really happened?


About zachdundas

Freelance journalist. Author of The Renegade Sportsman (Riverhead Books). Thank you.
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2 Responses to Kids, Acid is Not Your Friend!

  1. Dan says:

    That’s really weird. I didn’t have any drugs today (pot is not a drug, right?) yet I not only had similar hallucinations, but this morning I dreamed that the formerly formidable Czech side was soundly beaten by a bunch of African upstarts. Clearly, the pundits were right: The US is playing in the proverbial Group of Death. Bruce’s Boys had better not count their chickens yet, Ghana is on a roll!

  2. Lynda says:

    I thought perhaps what I saw in both matches was a local phenomenon–something in the city water supply?–but the Guardian referred to US v Italy as “one of the most surreal matches in World Cup history.” Perhaps we’ve all fallen through a wormhole and into a parallel universe!

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